Sunday, April 26, 2009

A Cool Rant

I saw on Yahoo, NBC, MSN, ABC,etc. that Obama is “Mr. Cool” and is undoubtedly the finest President this lucky Nation has ever had, and that so far everything he has done has been unbelievably cool and successful.

Seeing this got my dander up. What is so great about 'cool' and what the heck does it mean and why is it considered 'good'?

And IBM ad has a middle-aged manager go off on how "I hate cool. Cool costs money."

I've got to agree. Fact is: Cool bites. I'd say "Cool sucks" but 4-letter word usage is one of those 'cool' things that is precisely what is wrong with 'cool'.

Cool is paying full price instead of shopping smart.

Cool is all sizzle and no steak.

Cool is what made you puke your guts out at 18 when you took more liquor than you could handle.

Cool is an excess of beauty encasing a deficiency of brains.

Cool is that dumbass tattoo you cant get rid of.

Cool is being the grasshopper instead of the ant.

Cool is piercing metal in unnatural and unhealthy places so you cant eat or talk properly.

Yesterday’s Cool is a bunch of clothes in your closet you wouldnt dream of wearing now.

Cool gets your daughter knocked up, your son in jail and your marriage in trouble.

Cool is what you do that later makes you say "What was I thinking?"

Cool is paying luxury car price for a vehicle that’s smaller than a sub-compact ... and still cant go any faster than the rest of the backed-up traffic on the road.

Cool is voting for the pied piper of kleptocratic despotism and thinking it was going to be unicorns and pixie dust all around.

Cool is Stupid’s younger brother, and just looks more adorable because he hasnt been whacked in the head by a 2 by 4 like Stupid has .... yet. Give it time and Cool becomes Stupid.

Yeah, I can believe Obama is “Cool”.

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